Absolute freeloaders
Students find many ways to cope with the pitiful student loan. Some live off the Tesco Value range. Some get a part-time job. Some sell their virginity on ebay (well, a couple). My freshers flat... we looted from M&S. They'd throw away perfectly decent food into their mercifully unguarded bins each day, and every so often we'd pay a visit and pick up a loaf of bread to freeze, some almost-expired custard to feast on, or a ready meal to blast in our tempermental microwave. We took some roses on one occassion, using empty beer bottles with water as makeshift vases until the roses died (the next day).

One evening, under cover of darkness, we lifted the lid of the bin. Four eager faces gazed into the depths, noses screwed against the faintly stale smell. A glimmer from one corner - the silver lid of a glass jar, filled with a beige semi-solid substance.

"Honey!" we exclaimed, like eager children. Oh, we could afford cheap honey from Tesco - but this wasn't just honey, it was M&S honey (sorry, I couldn't resist). How glorious this would be spread on a lightly toasted piece of white Tesco value bread in the mornings, with a cup of Tesco value tea. We could almost smell it, almost taste it. We had to have it.

However, not much had been thrown out that day and the bin was nearly empty. Our arms just couldn't reach down to the jar. After a considerable amount of effort, we were on the brink of giving up when J said, "F*ck it, I'll just hop in". Bent over the edge, he lowered his entire upper body into the bin and proudly produced the sacred jar. Honey!

...No. Seafood dressing.

Probably not the best, but definitely the funniest thing I've ever found.
(Judge Society would be a pexagram, Mon 10 Nov 2008, 0:42, Reply)