Always the spectator, never the player
I never got picked for the football team, not even for five-a-side kickabouts. My mate on the other hand was your classic Captain Awesome. He was always picked and always for the winning team. One such indoor match Awesome was, contrary to the norm, not winning. OK the match had just started but still - he had a point to prove. He tackled the ball from another player, passed to a team mate and ran up field. The ball was passed back to him as he ran onward. He looked at the ball, and then at the goal, and then at the ball, all the time running.

It was therefore with a certain amount of schadenfreude that I watched as Awesome once more looked at the goal, just in time to run headlong into the goalpost painted onto the brick wall. To say I wet myself laughing would be painting an accurate picture. I was still fighting back the giggles when I went to pick him up from hospital after he had his broken arm put in a cast.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Thu 22 Jul 2010, 17:53, Reply)