Celebrities and Cougars
Somehow I possess a special ability to lie and keep an absolutely straight face, no matter how bad the lie is, could be from my law training but hey ho.

My first most favouritest lie began with a 2 or 3 week long argument over what would win in a fight, a bear or a cougar (I may even have read the starting point of it on here)

One night, on MSN I decided to pitch the argument to a friend, who was steadfast in her belief that a bear would win. I then went on the convince her that a Cougar had evolved with elastic bands where their leg muscles would be, but that they are allergic to elastic and therefore are always in a bad mood and easily capable of over the top violence.

I left it at that for then.

However, in the pub a few years later, sitting with a group of mates, Sky News comes on and one of the stories is about a cougar attack somewhere. She turns to the rest of us and with a slightly smarmy look says;

"Yeah, probably got sick of its elastic legs"

I cracked up, the others sat there about to ring the funny farm, then it dawned on her that it wasn't true and she had just made a stupendous tit of herself.

Secondly, a very recent one. A girl at my workplace/forced labour camp was convinced by yours truly that Rolf Harris was Calvin Harris's father. I further added to the lie by saying "If you listen really carefully during his hit 'Acceptable in the 80's', you can make out the wobble board".

A final one for now involved my youngest brother and sister, probably 5 and 7 at the time of the lie. I told them that I was an advanced robot, but had human features to stop them getting scared. To keep up the lie I endured a good hour of pinches, punches, kicks etc, all the while making out that the growing number of bruises were just "programming errors" or "data leaks" after hitting my circuits.

More will come as and when I can remember them
(triley, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 13:33, Reply)