Let me count the ways...
one post at a time.

Some years back, not long after I separated from Nurse Ratched, I had a series of relationships. As is the norm, every one of them ended and I was alone. And, as is the norm, I was pretty badly hurt each time- though I don't show it a lot, I'm actually a very sensitive person whose feelings can be easily hurt.

One night I was hanging out with a female friend and talking about this, and how discouraged I was by the whole thing. I had about concluded that it was time for me to just plain give up on ever being with anyone again, when she gave me the following insight.

"What you're doing wrong is you're dating one woman at a time. It's serial monogamy. So when the relationship ends, it's like a mini-divorce. You're hurting because you're repeating that pattern over and over."

I looked at her with a stunned expression. "But I thought that that's what you're supposed to do!"

She shook her head. "It may be what most people do, but it's not necessarily the right thing for you. You need to be open and up front that you're seeing other people, and if you have sex you need to always use a condom, but it's perfectly fine to date multiple people. That way when one relationship ends you can be sad, but still have other relationships to keep your ego from getting so damaged. You can say goodbye to that person because there are others still waiting for you."

Blew my mind, that did. But I had to admit, it made sense.

So I did as she suggested, and started relationships with five women. Some I met for dinner a couple of times and we mutually agreed that it just wasn't going to work, others I did get in bed with for a while before they concluded that they wanted more than I was able to give at that point. In all cases it ended amiably enough, with no harsh words or tears. And then I discovered something really good about this, the point that my friend had been trying to make: it gave me a much better sense of perspective. I could stand back and view each one more objectively, and see them as they were- their good points as well as their bad points- and make a decision as to whether or not the relationship would work. So I weeded through them, resulting in some of the stories I've told in here- for instance, this one- but ultimately selected one who was a better fit than most, and let the others fall by the wayside.

To many that would seem a rather hell-worthy offense, I suppose... but really, it saved my sanity.

I think.

*goes off to contemplate that question for a while*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:18, 2 replies)

I think multi-dating is quite popular in America.
In the UK we tend to date one at a time. British men aren't very good at multi-tasking anyway.
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:30, closed)

In truth, neither am I.
Although it was a good and therapeutic thing to do at the time, I really didn't much like that. And the Mad Stripper episode kinda put me off dating altogether for a time...

I don't know that I'll ever go that route again, honestly- it was a lot of work. But it did serve its purpose.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 11 Dec 2008, 14:36, closed)