It’s not personal, it’s just business. No wait…it is personal.
I think every bloke has one friend that they don’t actually like that much, that one friend that nobody else likes but you’ve known all your life and have never managed to shake off. I have one such friend, I have known him since I was 12 (almost 20 years ago) and without exception, everyone who has ever met him through me has come to the accurate conclusion that he is a boorish embittered waste of space.

Back in 1999 I was in my first proper job after university working for a well-known bank. It was a pretty dead end role, but I was surrounded by people my own age and I had made lots of friends and I actually had a social life. I was happy. One day I went to use the fax machine and I noticed an employment agency had faxed through a CV, being a nosey sod I picked it up to get the low down on a potential new colleague. It was he, my “friend”. I instantly had this vision of what was going to happen if he got the job…everyone would hate him, he would latch on to me and people would start going to lunch without me and accidentally-on-purpose forget to tell me about nights out and after work beers. It was going to be school all over again.

I can still feel the warmth of those A4 pages as I crumpled them up and dropped them into the confidential waste bin.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 15:49, Reply)