I'm not proud of this.
In fact, it makes me feel ashamed and unspeakably guilty to remember this.
Some years ago I used to "run with a bad crowd", as the phrase goes.
One of the gentlemen that I spent a lot of time with was a local drug dealer called John.

He was a vicious, violent and angry man, and would have been pretty dangerous if it wasn't for the fact that he was about 4'9, and skinny as a starving python.
I'm afraid to say that I was quite often the instrument of John's retribution, a fact that I'm not particularly proud of.

One night I got a call from him.
"Kaol, get your arse outside, we've got to pay someone a visit."

So, like the fool I was, I got my boots on and went outside to where he was waiting in the car.

"Some cunt called Matt owes me money. I've got his address. Gonna scare the shit out of him."
And off we drove...

We pulled up outside the house, walked up the path and rang the bell.

A young-ish man answered the door, and after a few minutes of questioning, and the subsequent checking of his driving licence, we established three things.
1) This wasn't Matt.
2) I was going to Hell.
3) We'd scared the shit out of some poor guy

We left quickly.

I feel terrible about the situation to this day.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:47, 15 replies)

I can't believe...

That you've ever been an 'instrument of retribution'

Sure, you're big and scary...and have lots of knives...and a general disdain for human life...

but you're such a nice fella!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:54, closed)

I'm afraid that I was
And there are worse stories than this, that I won't be posting.

But I've changed lots, getting away from these people when I started uni was a big help.
And now I'm the lovely person you know :p
( Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:57, closed)

You dark horse you.
You're just like the main character in "A history of violence".

Except you didn't get to snog Liv Tyler in lord of the ringpiece.

Or did you
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:55, closed)

No snogging,
I'm afraid.
Unless by Liv Tyler you mean Burt Monkeysex.
*sighs*
Yes, another reason I'm going to Hell.
I've put my tongue in Burt's mouth :(
( Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 14:58, closed)

Ha Ha
ya big gayer
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:00, closed)

Life would be easier if I was...
But I wasn't.
I was just really drunk...
( Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:01, closed)

The fool I was.
Was.
Certainly isn't true any more, and I'd trust you with anything.
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:01, closed)

I wouldn't trust him
with my cock. He might not give it back.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:08, closed)

Neither might I.

( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:13, closed)

I don't think
he would want to hold onto your cock for any significant length of time though.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:25, closed)

You'd be surprised.
I'm a woman of many secrets. And he has a pretty good grip.
( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:30, closed)

Yep...
The man-meat death-grip.
I learned it from Bruce Lee.
( Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:33, closed)

*gasps*

( thealternativefact, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:40, closed)

Awh, thank you :)

( Cawl, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 15:22, closed)

I also cannot see you in the role of the heavy.
It's an anathema to me.

*shrugs*
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Dec 2008, 19:20, closed)