Wacky Wheelchairs
A couple of kids at school suffered from advanced Cerebral Palsy and had electric wheelchairs to get about. Despite the best efforts of the other students, they used their disabilities to justify treating everyone else like shit (think two Andies from Little Britain) so nobody liked them. At all.

The wheelchairs had little joysticks for control. On those occasions when they were both in the same corridor, their aggrieved classmates would exact superb revenge. A 'rider' would jump on the back of each chair, slam the joystick forwards, then weave left and right through the corridors, racing them like a pair of screaming, disabled roman chariots.

I used to love it. Fuck the disability factor, they were both a pair of intolerable cunts. They died years ago so with luck they're roasting away in Hell right now. I'm hopeful that my attitude to their treatment will grant me a ticket too. I'd love to see their vile, screwed-up faces skidding round those corners again and again and again... magic.
( chart cat has an itch, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 8:58, 9 replies)

In an eco-friendly future...
...could flid-racing catch on?

Will Lewis Hamilton trade his McLaren MP4/25 in for Stephen Hawking?

The future is here. The future is belming.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 17 Dec 2008, 9:48, closed)

Getting a little bored of F1...
but THAT I would pay good money to see!
(Penguins_Made_Me_Do_It is a dolt ... and she don't care, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 9:51, closed)

I think they should get rid of the big fast Merc
they have as the safety car and just have Stephen Hawking instead, on a rocket-powered chair.

With Murray Walker commentating.

And Martin Brundle on his track-trundle (thank you spimf for that lovely turn of phrase) talking to Prof Hawking about tear-off strips and then being told to fuck off.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 10:45, closed)

Flid commentary
"And. And. Lewis Hamilton on Stephen Hawking whirrs away from the lights. This is sensational! Heikki Kovalinen on Thora Hird has passed Fernando Alonso on Christopher Reeve at Becketts to take third place. And. And. I've just wet myself!"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 17 Dec 2008, 10:54, closed)

that's settled then
I shall be watching the entire 2009 season on mute and providing my own commentary along these ^^^ lines.

Hull please. One and one OAP. No, I don't have a fucking railcard.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 14:34, closed)

Not forgetting
Davros ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 14:55, closed)

Okay, NOW I'm doomed.
Flid racing has been giving me the giggles for the past ten minutes!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 17 Dec 2008, 13:29, closed)

I'm definitely going to Hull
The couple in the flat opposite me have their his & hers electric wheelchairs outside. I've often wondered if they could be "fixed" to go faster.

I'm laughing like a loony now....
(Jamie and his magic bat You can bump n' grind, it is good for your mind, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 15:40, closed)

Oh yes...
There has to be a way of enhancing the performance of your average biddy chariot.

And maybe Michael Schumacher could be persuaded out of retirement if he got to drive the Queen Mother - keeping it German - as it were?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 17 Dec 2008, 18:53, closed)