This brings back memories...
Unfortunately not mammaries. :(

I think pretty much the epitome of poor flat-shares comes from students. Mostly because no one has lived by themselves before and there are much better things to do (drink/fuck) than wash/clean. My time in further education was no different.

*cue wibbly lines*

My first year as many was characterised by the usual assortment of mismatched weirdos you get in halls. There was Steve whom I only ever saw eating a weird mixture of stinking food which seemed to consist of brown sauce that fetid his room for the entire year. Not only that but he was without social graces or an ability to interact. Fine if he was clever but he was in fact thick.

Next is Simon who was a great guy all round but from Northern Ireland so had a massive chip on his shoulder. His best mate in that year was another hulking NI chap with scary(UVF) mates. He ended up stripping most of the flesh from his lower arm punching the shit out of the safety glass in our front door. Simon threatened to stab me with a fork whilst I was naked in bed with my then girl for leaving the deep far fryer on.

The real final weird chap was a guy called Graeme. Totally sweet bloke who is still a mate but is prematurely in his 40's. Receding hair, paunch, love of my dads music collection. Rock god in all but looks, style and execution.

Second year mostly involved living with my girlfriend because my flat was full of five stoners and a cat. No cleaning what-so-ever, coated in cat shit and dirty dishes as well as takeaway cartons. Was lovely... not! Girlfriend is now dating one of the guys who lived in that squalor! One of the guys sobered up mid-way through the year and pretty much lived over with my girlfriend, her flatmate and me.

Third and fourth year I cottoned onto the fact I actually had to live with these people rather than party. Great times with two sound guys, highlights including:

* - Many punk bands staying over after playing gigs, thus lots of after-parties.
* - Cleaning 12 replica MP5s (don't ask) in the living room and inviting a plain-clothes policeman in without thinking. Brown trousers for him, brown trousers for me when I realised.
* - Walking in at 3am to find two mates with a completely naked hot chick on our sofa giving a guided tour of her piercings our sofa.
* - A few gigs played in our back garden.

Currently I live with a few guys from work and other companies in a similar field and I think I'm probably the most annoying person. I'm pretty lax on the old cleaning lark. Trying to improve though.

My current girls flatmates are properly mental though. But that's her story.
(mehmeh 0% witty, Tue 10 Apr 2007, 21:48, Reply)