I have a bit of a confession to make...

Like many of you delicious folk, I am a full on, hip-thrusting internet thief. I have downloaded thousands of DVDs, games, and albums*.

More importantly, I don’t think I own a single legitimate piece of software. ‘Knock off Nigel’ should actually be renamed ‘Professional Pirate Pooflake’

Yet every weekday morning I get up, watch a bit of (stolen) cable TV then drive to my job.

As an IT Licence Manager for a multi-national company…where I spend all day** hunting down fake installs and lecturing people on the perils of piracy, its effect on business and impact to the humble consumer.

Sometimes I don’t know how I sleep at night.***

*Obviously porn too, it goes without saying :)

**Total lie – I’m lucky if I put in an hour a week.

***I do know really…Alcohol. Mmm.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:04, 11 replies)

*click*
with extra marks for the hip-thrusting.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:07, closed)

Hey, we're all at it.
In my previous job I had to lecture the client's los- er, users about the evils of piracy...

...while abusing the same client's Internet connection to stock up on software I fancied.
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:09, closed)

Can I Have your JOB
Minez SUX
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:12, closed)

Yes you can (sort of)...

The equivilent job for our sister company has just become available.

I was thinking of applying for it myself...2 paychecks for 2 hour's work ftw!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:15, closed)

I have no formal IT qualifications.

Although I'm sure you'll put in a word for me
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:20, closed)

just out of curiosity
what kind of software do you chase down? something specific? or EVERYTHING?


turns off internetz so PF can't find all his dodgy licences
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:51, closed)

Yep, pretty much everything...

We have a discovery tool that scans everything then reports back with a comparison to how many licenses we own (if any)...

If it doesn't comply then I tool up, steam in and KICK SOME MOTHERFUCKING ASS!*

*I get the helpdesk people to uninstall the software...then have a quick word on the quiet whilst asking them if they'd like a copy of 'Halo Wars' and 'Paul Blart: Mall Cop'
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 19 Feb 2009, 14:53, closed)

Oh FFS
I enforce court orders for a living....orders against convicted criminals. While at the same time, I have illegally downloaded music playing on my computer.....

Hypocrite? Not me.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Thu 19 Feb 2009, 19:31, closed)

Ahh
but Copyright infringement is a civil offence and not criminal - so, you'd have to be sued for your 'offences' not prosecuted.

So that makes it all ok ;-)
(dchurch bah, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 8:11, closed)

But... but...
all the adverts call it copyright "theft", so it must be a crime. Thank fuck there are still people around - i.e. you - who know the difference between infringement and theft.

What gets on my (substantial) tits is the assumption that I must be some sort of scofflaw even though I paid good money for the cinema ticket, or DVD. I've been to the movies and bought DVDs in the USA, and in Canada, and I've not once been subjected to a patronising "YOU'RE A THIEF AND WE'LL GET YOU!" advert. Only in this country...
( flake has nothing against your right leg, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 23:56, closed)

no we get that here too
it's very annoying.

AND YOU CAN'T SKIP THE DAMN ADS!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Feb 2009, 6:25, closed)