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This is a question Apparently I'm a sex offender

I was once paid £15 to count the amount of people visiting a hairdresser. I stood outside for 3 hours with a clicky counter in my pocket, pressing it every time a person entered. Suddenly there's a copper in front of me, I turn and there's another behind. "What are you up to sunshine?" "A rival hairdresser wants to count the competition" "Well, there's been a call from the shop owner that there's a ginger bloke standing outside fiddling with his cock." Have you ever done anything that made strangers think you were a pervert?

(, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 22:20)
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Kiddie fiddler
I was staying at a mate's house last year, in Bristol, and we were in the pub having a nice drink, and for some reason talking about what a crime it was that young girls seemingly aspire to dress like tarts from the age of about 10. We were, quite literally putting the world to rights, when I brazenly said, "yeah, mate, I was thinking that earlier. Your daughter's mate - cracking arse!". Now I knew what I meant. The point I was trying to illiustrate was that when 16 year-old daughter + mate had popped round to pick some stuff up earlier in the day, wearing very tight fitting, white, chavvy slut-jeans, she looked like she could well easily have been on her way to stand on a street corner or something.

"What the one in the white top?", he enquires?

"Dunno, I was too busy staring at her arse mate", says I, dialling up my blokieness to maximum.

Needless to say, his daughter's slutty mate, was actually his other daughter, who I'd never met before, who's 14. I've never felt such a cunt in my entire life.

it was quite funny though at the time. He didn't think so, and I didn't think so, but everyone else thought it was fucking hilarious.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2006, 23:13, closed)

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