Me
When I was 14 I was not exactly attractive. Tall, stick thin, (I think the word is 'gawky'), greasy hair, terrible acne, wearing NHS specs (remember those?). Hobbies: recorder playing, listening to classical music, acting.

However I was the envy of every boy in the school because Liz, the most beautiful girl in the school, who was the spitting image of Hazel O'Connor, had inexplicably got a crush on me. She sent me a perfume-scented note expressing her desire for me, which I received in front of all the boys in my class, so everyone knew about it. Apparently it was all because she'd seen me in a school play, and liked my voice.

A meeting was arranged in the time-honoured manner: my mate asked her mate. We met, not behind the bikesheds but in the woods by the playing fields. I had never actually got this close to a girl before, so I was quaking with both fear and excitement. We talked, and held hands a bit (I was such a virgin that I got a stiffy just from doing that). I realised that she was very dim. She realized I was a spotty, boring tit. I went home.

I heard later that James from my class had been hiding behind a bush, watching us. When I walked off he went over to 'comfort' Liz, who appeared rejected. He ended up snogging her and getting a feel of her tits. Lucky bastard. I still fancy Hazel O'Connor.
(Smale is stuffed, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 15:58, 3 replies)

Ah! You see, what you’ve done here is say that someone who feels a 14 year old girl’s tits is a lucky bastard.

There’s people nearby who get very excited by this sort of thing. I'm surprised there not here already.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 16:11, closed)

Aaagh
If only I'd written that sentence to be clear that it was my 14-year old self thinking that. Now I am eternally damned.
(Smale is stuffed, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 16:21, closed)

Sorry, I was just in the middle of something.
*clears throat*

NONCE


My work is done. Now I need to go find that Drew Barrymore in E.T.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 17:11, closed)