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This is a question Why I was late

"On the way to the station, I got hit by a bat, it almost took my head clean off. Then the machine would not accept my ticket and the guy at the gate didn't think I looked like the photo on my travel card. So I had to go home and get my passport.

Then the train was 45 minutes late to the station because of the dangerous badger threat at Carpenters Park.

When I was on the train it took and hour and a half to get past the biscuit factory because the driver was really fat.

Then there was a delay stopping at the station because the train in front had heard we were coming and decided to play a practical joke with a rubber shoe on the track.

That is why I couldn't get here on time today."

What's your best excuse?

(, Thu 28 Jun 2007, 10:36)
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Badger Threat...
...No, seriously, here in the South, where trains run on power from a third rail, badgers pose quite a problem.

Their natural instinct during mating season is to follow the trails back to their home area and find a mate. Sooner or later they'll come across a man-made obstacle - motorway, barn or maybe even a railway line - where their other natural instinct kicks in - 'you don't climb over anything, you -being a badger- must attempt to go under the obstacle'. Cue many badgers providing a handy earth bond between the 750Volt third rail and the ground, which usually results in a dead badger and lots of nasty smelling smoke (and occasionally flames).

Only problem being, when you've got half a large badger carcass laying around the third rail, when you hit one at 100mph - it's not going to do your train much good.

Hence my announcement of 'this train is being delayed due to a badger on fire and wrapped around the underside equipment of the train'...

and a 45 minute delay as I picked dead mammal out of my shoegear.
(, Mon 2 Jul 2007, 22:42, closed)

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