*clicked*
I was in a pub in Hackney recently to play bar billiards and some fucking little bastardspawn was amusing himself by pulling all the cues off the machine while I was playing. His parents gave me a wan smile as if to say "Oh, the little dear well, we can't really control him, can we?" I responded with an outburst of the foulest fucking language I could think of - whereupon the mother said "How dare you swear in front of my child!" I responded with "Of course, what was I thinking, swearing like that in a creche? Oh, wait, I'm in a fucking pub, you dozy old shit-for-brains cunt."

My local actually has a sign that says "While we welcome children during the day, after 7pm is adults' time. Take your kids home." I think that's a perfectly acceptable compromise.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:44, 3 replies)

nicely handled

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 14:53, closed)

you dozy old shit-for-brains cunt
clik
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 12:59, closed)

Not me, but a dear friend with a great line in put-downs,
once let out an audible sigh of disgust (with suitable facial expression) which was noticed by the pond-scum mother who was content to let her kids raise merry hell in the supermarket.

'You got a problem, pal?' she queried.

'Yes I do, actually: if you can't control your grandchildren, you shouldn't take them out in public.'

This led to a very loud, expletive-strewn explanation about her relationship to the children in question. David simply sauntered away. Job done.
( ThisCaledonianClown has left it far too late, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 22:29, closed)