The Statt Family.
Not just one local nutter, not two - but a whole family full of them, who I encountered during my time at college back in the 1980's, in Consett.

First up was Ken Statt. 17 years old , total fruitcake. Used to be in the Btec First Diploma class, stunk like a sewer, never washed, looked like he had a chip-pan full of grease in his hair. Always wore a massive leather bomber jacket, and a hand-written t-shirt with 'ABBA' on it (even such detail as to reverse the two 'B's in 'Abba' like the band logo). Abba constantly on his Walkman. Always sprinted everywhere, even the shortest distance. Got caught trying to burn the college down by setting his own locker on fire so no-one thought it was him! Compulsive fruit-machine player....more on this in a bit.

Next up was his elder brother Rob. He was completely hatstand, permanently sedated and was in the college's special needs unit. Insisted he was actually film character Rambo, and demonstrated the fact by having a very large patch sewn onto another large leather jacket, identical to his brothers. Never said anything at all except "RAMM-BOOOOOO" in a pretend deep-voice.

Now, Ken's fondness of fruit machines landed him in trouble when he nicked his mothers holiday money (rumours vary as to the sum, £300 to £600, but still a substantial amount), and he ran away from home. But not too far, only around the local pubs to play the fruit machines, then sleep rough locally.

His reign of freedom came to an end right in front of our eyes in the local college pub when, as he took his customary place with a half-of-coke at the machine, his mother had sneaked in another door...we thought to confront him...but his equally bonkers mother produced a table leg from her shopping bag, and beat the living crap out of him in front of a pub full of punters!!!!! He was given quite a royal twatting from his mum (actually put in hospital), but we couldn't stop laughing, she kept shouting in a shrill voice "Kenny you little shit! Little f**king shit!", followed by a hollow 'dink' as the table leg hit some part of his body!
(Charlie Baked Potato, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 21:58, Reply)