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This is a question Lurid Work Stories

"I know a railwayman of 40-odd years' service," says Juan Quar, "and he tells me a new gruesome yarn each time we meet. Last week's was of checking the time on the wristwatch of a severed arm he'd just collected after a track fatality."

Tell us the horrible stories you tease the new hires with, or that you've been told.
NB By definition, these are probably all made up. Roll with it

(, Thu 5 Sep 2013, 17:33)
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Shrinking feet? That's ridiculous
Everybody knows that it's caused by the quick-release mechanism being accidentally activated. That's where seals come from, they're otters that have activated their mechanisms.
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 10:21, 2 replies)
I like this

(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 10:29, closed)
Well the shoes want to live on don't they
Apparently shoes have soles
(, Fri 6 Sep 2013, 14:55, closed)
This
is why replies should be able to win.
(, Sat 7 Sep 2013, 19:27, closed)
I thought eukanuba's post about seals & otters was equally win-worthy

(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 11:53, closed)
ta

(, Mon 9 Sep 2013, 12:32, closed)

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