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This is a question Lurid Work Stories

"I know a railwayman of 40-odd years' service," says Juan Quar, "and he tells me a new gruesome yarn each time we meet. Last week's was of checking the time on the wristwatch of a severed arm he'd just collected after a track fatality."

Tell us the horrible stories you tease the new hires with, or that you've been told.
NB By definition, these are probably all made up. Roll with it

(, Thu 5 Sep 2013, 17:33)
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I would love to say that this was all my fault
Alas, we moved into a new building a few years back, and one day came into the office to a very strong and unpleasant odour had filled all 3 floors. Our boss was, to put it mildly, a clueless berk, and immediately decided this was some kind of gas leak which the gas board and fire service should be called to.

We were all duly punted outside, headed round to the pub, and sat there having soft drinks until the all clear was announced.

I will be honest, I initially thought that a prank-loving colleague of mine had shit in the recycling bin, but the truth was that a certain female member of staff had been stuffing her jam rag's down the toilet instead of sticking them in the bin, and over a 2-3 day period, had managed to back them up to the point where the female loo's on each of the 3 floors all emitted a smell of congealed death.

The usual cautionary email was sent round all users, but the clueless berk had no idea who it was, although he was the only person in an office of 95 people who didnt know.
(, Sat 7 Sep 2013, 4:22, Reply)

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