Bennet the Bearded Narcoleptic Fool.
That's how my dear departed pal Mike Vortex referred to his flat-mate and considering the facts of the case it's no wonder.
This all happened in '91-'93 around Lark Lane in Liverpool.
Bennet was a proper waster, hippy, low-level hash dealer, incompetent idiot.
One time he was carrying a 9-bar he'd got on tick from some big, scarey Rasta-Gangsters in Toxteth and he got the fear. Convinced he was being followed he ducked into Peter Kavanagh's, headed straight for the bogs and stashed his stash in the high-level cistern in one of the cubicles. He slunk out of the gents and passed the bar without buying a drink, right under the eyes of the rightly suspicious barman.
Surprise-surprise the stash had vanished when he went back for it the following day.
So Bennet is now down a 9-bar and in hock to the dealers.
He hatches a plan, a cunning plan.
A plan so cunning etc.
He gets another 9-bar from a different dealer, this time a Scally from Speke if I remember correctly.
Back at the Hargreaves Road flat he prepares to hack up the block into short 1/4's and 1/2's in an attempt to cover his debt to both dealers. He pops the un-wrapped bar on top of the High Speed-G gas fire to soften it sufficiently and retires to the sofa for a pipe to take the edge off the anxiety he is feeling.
About six hours later Mike and I get back to Liverpool from Manchester (we had been doing projections at Life at Bowlers, Trafford Park) to discover an unconscious Bennet in a flat full of hash smoke.
Doped up fool had fallen asleep and the 9-bar was history, having melted and flowed down into the innards of the fire where the volatiles vaporised.
And that was the moment Mike came out with the phrase "Bennet, you bearded narcoleptic fool".
Talk about stoned, we were off our scones just from standing in the hallway.
Bennet left town soon after that, leaving two lots of drug debt and two lots of angry dealers in his wake.
No idea what happened to him, never heard of him since.
And i bet that flat still stinks to high heaven.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 18 Sep 2010, 10:02, 1 reply)

Click!
For the nice story.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Sun 19 Sep 2010, 9:16, closed)