Bus stops - the gift that never stops giving
Where had we been? History doesn't relate. But given that the sign in question was on ******* Road, just up from the town's Curry Mile (not quite - one street with four curryhouses on it, none of them very good) and a bit along from some pubs, it's fair to guess that some drink and a curry had been involved.

And lo, a bus stop sign was sighted. And lo, the local bus company were a bunch of thieving busmunchers anyway and, over the years, had collectively caused us aggro well over the value of the bus stop sign. Probably over the value of an entire fricking bus, in fact. And lo, the bus stop sign was not attached very firmly to the lamp-post. In fact it could drop on anyone's head any moment now and was clearly a POTENTIAL DEATH TRAP. It was our civic duty to remove it. Ok, it was my civic duty to remove it. I don't think anyone else was quite as seized with the urgency of the moment as I was.

It came off quite easily. Wahey, I have a beer trophy.

And back to B+L's place we go. The next day, well, I'm not taking a ruddy bus stop sign back on the train with me, it's actually quite large and heavy and I've got a two mile walk at the other end. So I left it with our generous hosts. They were probably not best impressed, but clearly they had a cunning plan.

The cunning plan was, on the occasion of my wedding two months later, to wrap up the bus stop sign and present it as a kind and thoughtful wedding gift. How kind, I shall treasure it forever.

Damn. What do I do with this now?

What I do is stash it in the garage and forget about it. Until two years later, when B+L also decide to tie the knot. What could we get them? Maybe a cut-glass decanter. Maybe a Royal Doulton dinner service or whatever it is Royal Doulton do. (Where is Doulton anyway?) Maybe a nice picture of something.

I know! We'll get them a bus stop sign.

And so it is wrapped up in nice paper, etc. etc., here comes the bride, do you take this woman, I do, let's have a party, and of course, how kind, I shall treasure it forever.

A year later another mutual friend gets married. B+L think: what shall we get them? Hm, maybe a cut-glass decanter. Maybe some Royal Doulton. No! I know! We'll get them a bus stop sign. And so it has gone on. I think it's now on the fifth couple.

But actually, now, our friends have stopped getting married. It might be because those who were going to get married, have got married. It might be because there's a recession on and these things are expensive. I don't think so. I think it's more that no-one wants a bus stop sign any more.
(ChaRleyTroniC is invincible with his chips and cheese, Thu 26 Apr 2012, 20:22, Reply)