Where's the fire?
For some reason, and I never asked why as I was only 6 at the time, I played one of the three fireman in the school nativity.

As hard as I might try I can't even guess at where and when these characters would need to be involved. Perhaps there was a cat stuck up a palm tree or some fat kid got his head stuck in the railings...who knows.

I even had to supply my own helmet.

I'm quite sure that the main reason that these sort of obscure parts existed was to make sure all of the kids were involved and the shit parts were given to the annoying kids. It might be a coincidence but I do remember getting sent home that same year by my teacher (I was 6, what could I have done to a fully grown adult to require being sent home at that age?)

My other role was always the same. My loud voice and ability to articulate clearly always meant that I was the narrator.

This was not always a smooth ride. On being given the most words to learn I was then the laziest cast member and would always leave it to the last minute to cram. I was once locked in a classroom on my own during a dress rehearsal so I would learn them.

Other parts I have played in school plays include St Patrick and the best one was the boy who was bitten by a rabid dog at the beginning of the play, only then to spend the rest of the play lying still until Louis Pasteur cured me of Rabies.

I did not go on to become an actor or narrator or have any interest in Amateur Dramatics. I leave that to my attention seeking father who likes to dress up in women's clothing.
( bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 23:20, Reply)