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This is a question My Arch-nemesis

I lived in fear of a Darth Vader-esque school dinner lady who stood me perpetually at the naughty table for refusing to eat mushy peas. An ordeal made worse after I was caught spooning the accursed veg into her wellies. Who, we ask, has wrecked your life?

Thanks to Philly G for the suggestion

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:01)
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Also
I imagine there might be an intensely homoerotic charge crackling beneath this rivarly, just waiting to be ignited. Tell him he's been on your thoughts for a decade, which is nicely ambiguous - gives you the opportunity to back down while letting him know you're available. Assuming you are, of course!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 5 May 2010, 10:44, 1 reply)
Biglol's!
Wow, I'm gay? I never knew. Thanks Internet, you teach me something new every day!
(I helped save b3ta! Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Wed 5 May 2010, 11:29, closed)
Sorry!
I put two and two together and came up with five. Haven't you ever been tempted? I tried being gay for a while - mostly as an image thing, you know - but it just didn't work out.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 5 May 2010, 11:59, closed)
I've only ever wondered if...
It would be less of a grievous rapport. But seeing my gay friends, perhaps not.
If there were some chap out there who floated my boat I'm sure I would. Hasn't happened yet!
(I helped save b3ta! Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Wed 5 May 2010, 13:05, closed)
That's the thing...
...and without wishing to offend any of my very dear gay friends on B3ta, of which of course I have MANY (not to mention the veritable avalanche of lesbian chums), I just couldn't get the hang of it. I've always wanted to be an Oscar Wilde-style dandy with rapier wit and sort of assumed man-lust came with the territory...

But when it was time to put my money where my mouth was, so to speak, I just ...couldn't. There was zero arousal factor. Most annoying. Now of course I'm married and grateful if I get any action at all. Perhaps I should have persisted - stuffed my face on that pillow and thought of England - Hurrah!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:24, closed)
Ha!
I've no doubt there'd be more action if we were actually gay, I just find the chat up lines I've had tried on me a tad weird! (Not to mention the whole (hole?) arousal thing!)
(I helped save b3ta! Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Wed 5 May 2010, 14:38, closed)

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