Nice in thought, if not in deed.
I met my first true love at the age of 19. I was at college and she, two years younger than I, was edging towards completing her A Levels.

We completed our respective courses and headed off to Uni together; this was the real thing and we weren't willing to compromise our love for something so unimportant as our choice of university or course, such was our youthful naivety.

Throughout our first year, when normal people are exploring their promiscuity and other freshers bodies, we lovingly lived in one another's pockets, forsaking the chance to ruin bedposts with countless notches; we had each other and needed nothing else.

By the time the second year rolled around our interests had begun to diversify; my already well established love affair with cannabis deepened, while she, well, to be honest I have no idea what she was into. For all I know she could have been sleeping with half the campus, and who could blame her, I spent that much time completely, uselessly stoned that I was about as much good as a chocolate teapot.

Suffice to say we ultimately drifted apart, and when the time came to have 'the talk' neither of us really seemed to care.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here. Let's go back about 6 months, to an evening in the student union bar. I chanced upon an old school friend, who just happened to be visiting a friend of my girlfriend. It was a complete coincidence all round, but a happy and welcome one all the same.

Moving in similar circles I started to see my old school chum fairly often; he lived nearby and would visit anyone who'd speak to him as long as he could find people who'd speak to him. He was a bit of a wide boy and we had very little in common, but he would get hold of good, cheap weed, so, being the poor yet eager stoner I was, I found myself willing to put our differences aside and be one of those who would regularly speak to him.

Anyway, enough background... he had no idea of the inevitable parting of ways between me and the missus, it must have slipped my slightly forgetful mind somehow. So when, at some party or other, he happened to witness some fella doing his best to chew her face off, he was far from pleased, to say the least.

The tale that reached me was that this poor, unsuspecting lad, who had done absolutely nothing wrong, was quite surprised to receive a good old fashioned roughing up from an angry mockney wide boy.

Of course I later pointed out the error of his ways, all the while highlighting my appreciation for his attempts to defend my honour.

"Dahn't facking warry abaaat it" he garbled, "he was a facking cahnt anyway!"

Cheers mate, it was nice of you to give some poor "cahnt" a hard time, just for trying to get his nuts wet with a single and pretty girl. A single, pretty girl I'd spectacularly failed to retain the requisite level of interest in.

Nice in thought, if not in deed.
( Moey, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 1:07, Reply)