Stupid changing rooms
My secondary school didn't have its own changing rooms for PE, we had to share with the leisure centre on the same site. The changing rooms had plates on the doors designating what you needed between your legs to change in there. And these plates could be easily slid off of their place on the door and switched around. Stupid chavs.

Cue me on my first day at the school, absolutely fucking terrified and not paying attention to much. I somehow turned up 20 minutes late to my first PE lesson, so I rushed in to get changed a.s.a.p. to prove that I wasn't totally unlikeable and unfit and stuff (Ha, sports equipment somehow seems to be attracted to my face at high speed). Getting changed in the cubicles (Ah, the life of an awkward teen) I hear a door open. "Oh, just some sweaty/fat/annoying person. Great.

And then I heard the high-heels. I hoped to hell it was just a tranny, and then the clacking sounds multiplied, like bacteria. A god-damn yoga class has decided to get changed in the men's changing room? Just by coincidence? No. Stupid titflaps decided to swap the door plates and I actually went into the women's changing room. Someone must have changed the plates back after I went in. I waited for a good ten minutes, through some of the most TMI conversations I have ever heard ("Sandra, you'll never guess what! Franky's BF only went and cheated on her with some skank from St Paul's! And they had sex the other night and now her vag won't stop oozing this yellow gunk and oh-mah-gawd they look like total tramps anyways!" etc.) until there was what seemed like one or two ladies left, who had both just decided to go to the toilet (Question, ladies. Why do you have some need to have a friend stare at you whilst you piss/shite?)

I snuck out of the cubicle as slowly as squeaky Nikeys could let me. This is the closest I have ever felt to a somewhat pervy ninja. I got two feet from the door when I heard "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, YOU DIRTY LITTLE TWUNT!" screeched at me like a flipping pod-person.

I think Usain Bolt would have been proud of how I belted it out of there. I'm just happy that none of the kids put two and two together when they heard about this woman going mental because some kid had "perved" on her friends when they were changing, which happened to be during our lesson.
( Trogdos The Raging Cuntmuffin, Fri 28 Jan 2011, 22:22, Reply)