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This is a question The Onosecond

Wired magazine once defined the 'onosecond' as the time between hitting 'send' and realising that you really didn't mean to send that to your granny.

What inappropriate email/text/photo have you sent to wrong people? Are they speaking to you any more?

(, Thu 26 May 2005, 10:15)
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Fun with poetry
I'm kind of stretching this to its natural limits, but here goes...

English class, year 11, posh grammar school. Very nice, butter-wouldn't-melt English teacher sets, for Valentine's Day, a poem on the theme of love and vegetables.

Cue my epic in the form of:

My love
I give you a cucumber
You'll need it
Because you're dumped

This being a heinous crime against nature, I was swiftly dragged up to the office of the Head of English, told that what I had written was offensive to all women and given a detention. Another guy also got a detention, for his poem which apparently contained the lines "Take a stick of celery/Rub it on my bum".
To be fair, what did my teacher expect, giving a subject like "Love and Vegetables" to a class of teenage boys? It's like giving matches, petrol and copies of the Daily Mail to left wing arsonists.
(, Fri 27 May 2005, 18:44, closed)

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