*POP*
On my 24th birthday, my team were to have an off-site day at the 02. During the day, I was presented with a bottle of champagne on stage for having won some Value award (go me!). After the boring presentations, we retired to an igloo deep in the recesses of the venue (it certainly felt like an igloo as was eerily white and glowy) and free drinks were merrily distributed, as is standard for corporate affairs.

As it was my birthday, I made sure I ingested as many mucky cocktails as I could get away with before we were evicted back to join the hoi polloi in their boring, non-arctic themed drinking establishments. Already a bit pissed by this point, I started to head back to my place to pick up more friends for continued drinking elsewhere. I duly shoved the champagne in my handbag and toddled off toward the tube. Upon arrival at the flat, a half or so later, I proudly presented my champers and suggested we quaff it with haste before heading out into the night.

Have you ever drunkenly tried to open warm and agitated champagne? I wouldn’t recommend it. Just a few twists of the metal cage bit is all it takes to loose the canon, in my case straight into my left eye, from a distance of mere inches. At first, we all laughed, then I realised I couldn’t open my eye and quickly became a bit hysterical. A&E followed, so a boring and sobering wait and a late, late night; but overall, it didn’t actually hurt too much due to the shock and drunkenness. What did really hurt, however, was my follow up appointments at the eye hospital where I had to have my torn retina zipped up with a lazer. On two separate occasions. It was like having a tattoo on the back of my eye (not that I have any tattoos, but I imagine that’s what a pulsing lazer tattoo might feel like). Owie.

Now I always make sure one of my minions opens the champagne...
(Sinister Carp doesn't mind the gap, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 13:31, 1 reply)

Minions
Are godd. But only for grunt work.
Edit: good I meant. Soz, 3 martini lunch.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 5 Aug 2010, 15:00, closed)