big chill a couple of years ago
my friend and i completely overestimated our ability to consume very strong hashcakes. they were big butch man-flapjacks and they hit us like a punch to the jaw. it was all we could do to stagger to our tent and pass out "for a bit". this was about 5pm.

at 1am i was woken up by the couple in the next tent. seemed she had gone to the toilet and he had made the decision to check her mobile. for the next twenty minutes or so, i was treated to him reading out the messages at the top of his voice, and her squealing: "it's not what it sounds like!!" to which he would reply:

"not what it sounds like? he wants to stick his rock hard cock in your juicy wet little pussy. what else can it sound like?" and repeat through a whole host of sexual perversions.

at first i laughed to myself, but then i realised: it was 1am and we were missing the entire festival. so i tried to wake up my friend. i tried and i tried and eventually she opened one eyelid and hissed: "FUCK. OFF." she sounded like the grandmother of that snake in "harry potter". so i rolled over and fucked off back to sleep. we finally woke up at about 9am after about 16 hours' sleep, feeling utterly magnificent.

the next door tent, however, was gone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Aug 2011, 16:05, Reply)