The bat.
I've always been a little eccentric. Eclectic music taste, an affinity for bizarre films, and trippy books. Consequently, my friends were always a little odd, too. There was one, who was one of my closer pals, who was the weirdest. He was weird in that we weren't actually too alike, for friends. He didn't like music (At all), he didn't, to my knowledge, read a lot, and he seemed to enjoy most films- without being able to pick a favourite or least favourite. However, we clicked on a different level. Despite our differences, we were able to talk about pretty much anything all day. We were both, at the time, socially lacking, but between our 5 years together, I don't think there was ever a single awkward pause.

Anyway, enough backstory. This same guy (I'm pretty sure he's a B3TAN, so I'll just call him 'M') was, as I said, crazy. Not just because we weren't alike, but because he was, quite simply, batshit insane. He occasionally talked to himself, made weird noises to himself, and often had anger problems. For example, he slugged a kid in the face because he called him a name twice over the period of about a year. Other than these, like I said, he was a lovely chap. He was also incredibly athletic, so naturally, he loved PE. Loved it so much that he became something of a monster, because he was THAT competetive.

If we were playing tennis, we'd hang out in a closely-knit group of our 6 misfits (myself included), and we'd just have a bit of fun. Knock a ball around for maybe 10 minutes, then sit down for a while, and crack some jokes and banter. One day, however, the above-average athlete M decided that he hated his class, and chosen to come into our class to hang out with the 6. It meant he wasn't academically challenged anymore, but it'd be good fun in the end, right? Wrong. With this volatile ball of buzzing energy amongst us, there'd be no more cracking neither jokes, nor banter.

With him in the group now, he immediately began to attract attention. He was very loud. If he won the game, he'd run around, screaming, declaring himself the winner, and everybody else wankers. If he lost, he'd run around, screaming, insisting himself the winner, and everybody else wankers. And when he was hitting/smacking/bouncing/kicking the ball, he'd shout/grunt/shriek/yell. I think it seems quite unnecessary to add that, in the early 00's Britain, the attention he received was not that of the positive kind. The thugs, chavs and bullies began to pick on him. Calling him names, hitting him, stealing his bag...it all went a bit downhill from there.

We'd always remarked how peaceful he was in the visage of bullies. For someone who makes such a fuss with something as trivial as kicking a ball around for two lessons a week, he'd do pretty much nothing when faced with people threatening his wellbeing. Until one fateful day of rounders. The yob that usually said picking on him wasn't cool somehow decided that it was cool. When M was at the batting stand, said yobbo kept shouting obscenites at him. Apparently what he'd shouted hit a nerve, since everything that guy shouted put M off. It takes a lot to put him off his sport. Then- and this part still is remembered, fondly, in that natural slow-mo vision that happens to your most intense memories- one more thing was shouted. I can't remember what it was, since I was staring at M's now-rage-filled face. Anyway, this really hit a nerve with him, since he turned round, dropped the bat, and screamed "you cunt!"

He picked up the bat again, ran over to the bully, kicked him in the groin, and then smacked him upside the head with the baseball bat in one fluid movement. I still remember, clear as day, the red cloud of blood that shot up from his nose, and the crowd of students of all ages gasping "fuck!" in unison. The PE teacher ran over to M, grabbed him by the collar, and pulled him back to the PE office. The rest of us didn't know where to go. Staring at the whimpering bully, or what was to become of the still smouldering fire of pure rage that was our friend. We ended up staying with the bully, since he was a bit of a twat.

In the end, it turned out our friend was let off nicely, since he was obviously sick of being bullied. He did get a butt-load of detentions, though, but considering a nicer, more well-aimed swing could have pretty much completely fucked that guy up, we decided that was actually a bit of a cakewalk. Nothing else was said about it. The bully seemed to be on good terms with M (out of fear, I imagine), we continued until leaving school with him on our PE group, and the detentions were never talked about.

Needless to say, though, when he was batting, we shut our goddamn mouths.
(almightyjoey is most likely listening to Electric Wizard on, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 12:57, Reply)