caveman V chav
I had a weird dream a while ago that Fred Flinstone was booting the piss out if a wee ned/ chav/ scumbag. Strange. Last week, I was having my lunch break in Glasgow, as it was Friday and children in need day, there were lots of good-hearted twats dressed up in over sized foam costumes. (You know the ones with overly large head and shit) collecting money, carrying buckets and annoying most people. All the great comedy costumes were there, Mickey Mouse, Roadrunner, Dr Shipman, Fred and Rosemary West. All the jingle/jangle of the loose change in the buckets proved too much for one plucky little ned / chav, who timed his run perfectly, and made off with a bucket. He stop about half way up the street and to shout various taunts at the charitable twats in his foul Glasgow accent. So busy was the a fore mentioned scumbag, he did don’t notice a buff, sligh looking Fed Flintsone appear out of a ally way behind him, sneak up (hard to do when your head is larger than your upper torso) and aim a beautiful kick right up the ned / chav’s scabby little arse. Ned / chav obviously confused, dropped the bucket and did one, shouting back “Fred’s a pure wank, “ and “ your burd’s a ginger”. Although Fred did reclaim the money and was branded a hero, I have a feeling underneath his massive foam noggin; a single hurt filled tear rolled down his face. No one, not even cartoon cavemen can brush off being called a wank, and being reminded that your wife is a ginger. These are hard times indeed. He should have saw it coming. I did.
Sorry for length, not for girth.
(Jeeves, Thu 25 Nov 2004, 10:15, Reply)