Knives, Blades and Claret
I have several high quality scars. My three favourites are;

1) The puncture wound in my knee. I went ice skating, got tripped up and banged the back two inches of the blade (that sticks out behind the boot) straight through my kneecap and into the minor artery behind. Cue ice going red, children screaming and me gazing in shock and awe as hot, dark red blood quite literally spouted from my knee in time to my heartbeat. And I mean spouted. Best bit of the entire thing was as I waited for the ambulance (remember I am in a pool of blood and, coz it's an artery, compression isn't doing a great deal to stem the flow) an American couple actually said "Gee, honey, are you ok?"...I was lost for sarcasm at that moment. Strangely I am now married to an American.

2) The rakish scar across the right hand side of my chest. I saw one of my mates emerging from the biology lab at school. Naturally I jumped on his back. He had been stealing scalpels...I didn't even notice until my shirt went damp and red...end result - 4 inch raised scar that looks like I was stabbed. And I was...sort of.

3) Much more recent 8 inch long beast down front of shin. Weird one this. After a party with some work colleagues me, the wife and the attractive lesbians (they do exist and at least one works with me) found ourselves at a loose end and decided to streak through the town centre. Cue one naked man and three naked women charging down the street. Then, for no apparent reason, leaping in bushes. One particular evil twig raked me...and the scar won't go even though it wasn't more than a scratch in the first place.

I've never apologised for length.
(The_Bishop begged for death on, Wed 9 Feb 2005, 12:35, Reply)