Shit StoriesI once ate four Kendal Mint Cakes and did a white shit. My old school friend Roger had to outdo me. He claimed to have done a "blue bubbling turd" after eating six packets of blackcurrant Chewits. We want to hear your stories of poo, from crapping yourself at your sisters wedding to shitting the bed during sex. Go on - be filthy.
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rob, Wed 5 May 2004, 22:24)
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I shit myself in a department store once...It's true.
I once ate a prawn sub that had been festering on a warm desk at work all day. I had mega cramps and felt really, really ill, and when I left work, I needed to crap NOW. Fortunately, my office was near the town centre, so I nipped into House of Fraser to use their loo. I was stopped by my friend who works for Lancôme, to say hello, and I couldn't exactly say "can I go now before I shit myself" I made it up the escalator, to the toilet, and sat down. Did nothing but fart. Thanks very much.
I came out again, thanking my lucky stars I just had gas. Got near the stairs down, and a wave of cramps rippled my gut like a tsunami. I needed to go NOW again. I made it back to the toilet, and I went. And I mean, I WENT. I sat on the crapper for ages. I felt horrible. I was sitting there wondering whether it was worth trying to get home, when a couple of women came in. I stayed put, especially when one of them said, "EEEE, doesn't it smell nasty in 'ere? Have they never heard of air freshener?".
I got cleaned up after I was sure they'd left, and I went outside and phoned Mr Dominocat and asked him if he would come and pick me up in the car, because I thought I might not make it home on the bus... He said okay, and told me to wait outside the main entrance, and he would be there in 10 mins. Too long! I needed to go NOW again. I went back towards the escalators, and felt something go. I went then. And boy, did I stink. I had shit dribbling down my legs, and I felt awful. I made it to the toilet, and tried to clean myself up a bit. I sat there giving birth to something between niagara falls and a chocolate machine, when my mobile rings. Hubby says "where are you - I'm outside and parked on a yellow line" I say "I'm on the crapper" and there are chuckles from the other stalls. With tremendous rectal willpower, I made it to the car, and we go home. I have diarrhoea for about 3 days solid. Except it wasn't solid at all...
(, Thu 6 May 2004, 13:43, Reply)
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