ShopliftingWhen I was young and impressionable and on holiday in France, I followed some friends into a sweet shop and we each stole something. I was so mortified by this, I returned them.
My lack of French hampered this somewhat - they had no idea why the small English boy wanted to add some chews to the open box, and saw it as an attempt by a nasty foreigner oik to contaminate their stock. Not my best day.
What have you lifted?
(
chthonic, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 11:13)
« Go Back
Tesco swagShopping in Tesco not long ago, I noticed that the person who'd gone through the till before us had left a bag of their shopping behind.
Spotting a chance to end the day in profit, I kept my mouth shut and loaded it into my trolley with the rest of my stuff.
I arrived home and with not a little excitement, inspected my swag:
1. One small tin of Lily-of-the-Valley talcum powder of the kind that you only ever win in school fayre tombolas
2. A tube of denture fixative
3. One packet of biblical flood-strength tampons
4. Ten-pack of Durex Extra Safe
Being a bloke with all my own teeth who has recently had a vasectomy: Fuck my luck.
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 15:17,
3 replies)
McGuyver could make a rocket out of those itemsthat mulleted man's a genius
(
Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 10 Jan 2008, 15:20,
closed)
Not shoplifting and not cool.The bag of goods you swiped sounds like it had already been paid for, so you didn't actually swipe it from 'the man', but from a poor old smelly, toothless, furiously-menstruating, anal-receiving woman.
I hope you're proud of yourself young man.
(, Fri 11 Jan 2008, 10:04, closed)
« Go Back