memory can be strange
It is far from inconceivable that she has no recollection of (a). Apart from the fact that she was 16 and, it seems, had her own stuff happening, forgetting things which ought to be important is surprisingly common. I met up with an ex of mine a couple of years ago - we had the massive (first) relationship, got very badly fucked up afterwards, and blah blah blah - on seeing each other, it turned out that we may as well have never met, for the similarities in our versions of events (However, he did freely admit that he had been a cunt at the end, which is what has allowed us to become friends again). Subsequent to this I have encountered the same phenomenon in others.

There does seem to be mileage in the thinking that she may have changed in the intervening years. It's up to you, obviously, but if she's actively trying to get in touch, you may be missing out on having a lovely new sibling (and niece/nephew), due to an outdated teenage resentment.

Just my two penn'orth, having had to shake my brother to make him let go of an entirely ludicrous resentment which took hold of him. We are good buds these days.
(entry_level_adultette, Mon 29 Dec 2008, 17:28, Reply)