Orchestra Pratfall
A few years ago my orchestra was selected to play for the BBC Children in Need concert, to be broadcast on the radio and attended by numerous impressive people. The "head honchos" had never seen our orchestra before, and wanted to make sure that we would look and sound suitably professional against the choirs of five years olds, nose flute quintets and so on.

So, they come to the dress rehearsal. And there sits the entire orchestra, perfectly prim and poised. The conductor walks on, takes a bow, and begins to conduct (It was the Borodin "Prince Igor" Overture, which is an incredibly OTT Russian style piece.) The conductor attempted to restrain his normal conducting practices and look serious, but soon reverted back to the "windmill" approach favoured by many.

What he'd forgotten was that he was standing on a podium.

The increased momentum of his swinging arms tipped him off balance and launched him in a flying dive into the viola section, all of whom gripped their instruments with absolute terror. It was a surprisingly elegant spectacle, considering that this conductor was, to all intents and purposes, Father Christmas in a tux.

Cue the BBC people in the audience to the shocked silence. "Oh my god!"

(a pause)

"Are your instruments broken?"
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 16:19, 2 replies)

I love the Borodin!
At one concert I was playing in a few years ago, the conductor got slightly over-excited by the end of some Shostakovich and managed to very neatly stick his baton up his nose.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 17:27, closed)

Hahaha, classy!
I've seen many a conductor hit the leader... sometimes even by accident!
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 21 Jan 2010, 20:44, closed)