We used to play rugby occasionally at school
Not very often though, because football was king at our school.

Occasionally we'd have a crack at something exotic like softball or even basketball.

But every now and then the PE Teacher would decide that a bit of variation would be a good thing, and out would come the rugby ball.

As a rule, the game would go quite well unless and until Jamie Gordon got the ball.

I've since gathered that every school has its own version of Jamie Gordon in it; so far advanced physically than his peers that it was hard to believe that he was the same age as us. He'd been shaving since primary school, the teachers kept him quiet by tossing bits of raw meat to him in the back row, you know the kind of thing.

Anyway, as soon as he got a hold of the ball the game would essentially stop, and we'd watch him lumber up the pitch and score his try. Because there was no way on God's earth that anyone was going to attempt to tackle him.

According to the teacher, by leaping full-length at him and grabbing his feet we would stop him running and succeed in getting the ball off him.

As far as we could see, grabbing his feet seemed like an excellent way to get one or both boots in the face, and assuming that he hit the ground as advertised "getting the ball off him" didn't seem an entirely likely outcome. Unless, I suppose, he lost his grip on the ball while he was smashing you in the face with it.

After a period of this the teacher would tire of shouting at us, and it would be back to football next week. Nobody would tackle Jamie there either, but at least you weren't expected to bring yourself into dangerously close contact with him.
(richardm, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 17:42, 3 replies)

Ronnie Case was ours
I recall being second-to-last line of defence against one of his runs in rugby, smoothly diving in for a tackle a mere half-second after he'd sailed past.

As I got up off the floor, congratulating myself that I'd faked a convincing attempt to derail the steam train, I saw the only other person worse than me at sports, Richard Rawlings, take a step back out of Ronnie's way, bow and wave him through to the inevitable try.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 20:47, closed)

Dominic Boyle
A foot taller and two stone heavier than anyone else in the year, and the tallest boy in school at the age of 13. Not liable to break any speed records on the rugby pitch, but an untackleable wall of muscle whenever he got the ball, so he could take as long as he liked getting over the try-line.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 21:56, closed)

Best case scenario:
you successfully tackle him, injury free. You get the ball off him, no problem. You start running towards your try-line, beaming with pride at your awesome Jamie-tackling skills.

Jamie swiftly catches up, tackles you to the ground, takes the ball off you and resumes his run and makes a try - no way are you catching him up twice in a row and from a face-down-in-the-mud start.

So even best-case scenario, there's no point! Crazy PE teachers.
( ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 2:04, closed)