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This is a question School Sports Day

At some point in the distant past, someone at my school had built a large concrete tank behind the sheds and called it a swimming pool. Proud of this, they had a "Swimming Sports Day" in which everyone had to participate, even those who couldn't swim (they got to walk across the shallow end of the tank).

This would probably have been OK if the pool hadn't turned a deep opaque green the night before due to lack of maintainance. Even the school sports stars didn't want to go near the gloopy mess in the pool. We were practically pushed in. I'm sure some of the younger kids never surfaced again and the non-swimmers looked petrified.

Tell us your sports day horrors.

(, Thu 30 Mar 2006, 11:13)
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My school wasn't posh enough to have a sports day
but we did have compulsory PE three times a week...except for me. I broke my ankle and thus got out of PE for over a year. This was hellish in winter (freezing arse off standing by the football pitch having to make small talk with the teacher) but rather pleasant in summer (lounging around beside the tennis courts sunbathing when everybody else was getting all sweaty wielding those nasty plastic tennis rackets).

One such summer day there were three of us not doing PE. Me (the aforementioned ankle), Jonathan ("forgotten" PE kit) and Weed (broken arm).

Weed was not his real name, but that's what everybody called him, so much so that I'm buggered if I can remember what his real name was. Even the teachers called him Weed.

Aaaaanyway, we were chatting about this and that, and Jonathan suddenly turned to Weed and said, "Weed, have you started your periods yet?"

Both Weed and I guffawed and WTFed until Jon surreptitiously winked at me...

Me: Yeah Weed, haven't you started your periods yet?
Weed: Boys don't have periods!
Jon: They do...haven't you started yours yet?
Weed: No...
Me: Really?
Weed: When are you supposed to start?
Jon: When you're about eleven or twelve, if I hadn't started by now I'd be a bit worried
Weed: So, like, what happens?
Jon: It's horrible, all blood starts coming out your knob and stuff
Me: Haven't you started yet?
Weed: Oh, I just remembered, I HAVE started my periods!

Happy days...
(, Fri 31 Mar 2006, 15:25, closed)

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