Judging by some of your posts this makes me a stalker...
I fancied the arse of this lass who was in our group of friends at School. As you usually do when you're 14, I kept it quiet for all of three minutes then proudly declared that I fancied her to all and sundry. Unfortunately she didn't want to know me and actually had a boyfriend.

The sum total of our relationship was me trying to the act the quiet, handsome stranger whenever she was around, her ignoring me, me sending her drunken texts proclaiming my undying love for her.

It was a few months in, after she'd got over the fear of me turning up at her front door with a knife in one hand and my erection in the other, that the piss taking began.

She would ring me and ask her to meet her, then walk her home. One such time she made me walk her to a lads who she was secretly meeting and then walk her home when I was fucked out of my skull. She'd log in on her friends MSN accounts and pretend to be them, just so I would say stupid things to them about her and boost her self esteem. By far the worst though was when she was pissed, she'd tell me that if she wasn't going out with her current beau she'd go out with me. If it wasn't for this last factor I would've probably told her to fuck off after a few months but I lived in the hope that whatever bullshit she was spouting would come true.

Things began to get messy one night when she had far too much to drink and began to get off with me. I was convinced I was in there and quite fucking smug until she knicked my phone so she could ring her ex (the aforementioned boyfriend) and then ran off to see another lad (the aforementioned 'lad she was meeting') who she apparently tried to forcibly shag.

When I saw her later that night, after I found out about all this, she tried to kiss me again. She was told in no uncertain terms to fuck off and never speak to me again. She ran off crying.

A few days later I got an apology from her, half hearted it must be said. I didn't accept it, she was a vacuous cow.

There are a few things which I regret. The first batch is 'falling in love' with someone I barely knew, acting stupid, texting her for no reason other than to tell her how I felt and allowing myself to get blatantly used by such a person. The second is wasting a year and a half of my life perusing this woman (yes, that long). The third and final is how selfish I was towards her boyfriend, who is a fantastic lad and always had a minute for you. Now i'm in a long term relationship of my own I know what it's like to have people fawning over your beloved. There are so many times he should've lamped me, i've nee idea why he didn't.

Anyway, does that make me a stalker? I've nee idea.
(Peter Sutcliffe's Right Bollock, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 10:24, 3 replies)

"I fancied the arse of this lass"
That's a mighty comedic missing 'f'.
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 10:52, closed)

Whumpus^^^
Not necessarily....!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 11:32, closed)

K2k6:
Well, yes, but I thought I'd give him the benifit of the doubt, rather than just imply he adored her arse and nothing else.
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Thu 7 Feb 2008, 11:57, closed)