ugly woman and a firework
I was on the bus home from school with my mates. There was a big group of us - around 12 of us, with my brother and my mates brothers included. we were all between 6-8 yrs old. Opposite the bus stop was a house that - for some reason - and to this day still non the wiser - we would target hate towards... nothing too horrible, but the likes of knocking on the door and running, throwing wet toilet paper at it etc. (On reflection the wet toilet paper was a bad choice as the house had a funny sort of pebble dash finish - meaning the paper wouldn’t wash off in the rain - in fact 15 years on its all still there...) The woman on many occasion would run out and shout and chase us away, in fact I think the adrenalin rush of this might have been the reason we acted in such a horrible manner.

ANYWAY... this one time we all got off the bus and as usual began our defecation off what was quite a respectable property. My brother dared me to let off a banger on her doorstep (these were little bangers that they sell to kiddies in France…still make some noise though). Which I did – but I had one match to do it with. So I accepted… with no prize but kudos points at stake…. I walked up – I could here my mates shouting ‘go on’ and ‘hurry up she’ll be out in a minute’. (on reflection this kind of reminds me of ‘the butterfly effect’…but don’t worry no one gets blown up…)

I walked up and began the lighting process….. but oh no the banger wouldn’t light I was panicking …shit shit shit… (or whatever swear word I knew at the time…). Then I noticed all my friends change in their manner… they quickly grabbed their stuff and ran…. Did they know something I didn’t? I felt an independence day type shadow slowly cast itself over me, I turned around…there before me was the woman … scarier than usual…she was mad….REAL MAD….and about 3 inches away from me.... my legs couldnt get me away this time

She grabbed me by the throat and threw me to the floor… I was scared… I started to cry…. Then I noticed behind her…something I don’t think anyone knew…. She had a child but… but… this was different…something that made me feel truly ashamed…. Her son had down-syndrome…- he seemed confused and upset at the state of his mum…. Which we had caused….. We had been making her life hell everyday at 3:50pm… her life…already stressed with the day care of her son was made 100 times worse by me and my mates….

She let me go and I ran off sniveling…dragging my bag behind me…

We got a different bus home after that…

I have never felt so ashamed of schoolboy antics…

Length? She had arms like a fiddler crab….... a vice like grip... 8^S
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 5 Nov 2007, 17:00, 11 replies)

Here's a thought...
Reverse the karma- every day go by there and do something nice. Leave a potted plant on her doorstep, or maybe some food or something. Go by at midnight and plant some flowers in her yard.

If nothing else, it will make you feel better.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 5 Nov 2007, 17:10, closed)

...
the shame it burns... it burns....
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 5 Nov 2007, 17:16, closed)

you utter shite
although at least you realise your mistake now, which counts for something I guess.
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Mon 5 Nov 2007, 17:16, closed)

I'd break your arms myself
But for the fact by posting this you've earned some sort of redemption.
( Monty Propps, Mon 5 Nov 2007, 17:44, closed)

??
You defecated off her house? Eh?
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Mon 5 Nov 2007, 20:17, closed)

.... let me rephrase that,
i didnt shit on her house, we just messed it up a bit - in the garden.... defecate was a wrong word... it was meant to be a bit of metephor as we would pick on that one particular house.... i was 6 at he time ,and thought what i was doing was really cool.... kids, it wasnt... i think i over egged the initial descritpion, i mean we never terrorised her, it happend about 5 - 6 times, and we'd get chased off by her... good fun we thought, until her kid walked out.... had has such a lovely smile too...
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 5 Nov 2007, 20:40, closed)

wrong word indeed
'Defecation off' suggests that you shat over the edge of her roof or something...
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Mon 5 Nov 2007, 21:48, closed)

What a
frigging crackup! You should've gotten the firecracker lit and chucked it at the little spacker, he would have gone (even more) mental.
(Leyxia, Tue 6 Nov 2007, 9:20, closed)

Leyxia in 'I'm still a total cunt' shocker!
Cunt. You cunt.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 6 Nov 2007, 11:32, closed)

At least you learned your lesson...
...from your act of desecration... Not like some, who want to throw fireworks at the disabled and defraud the able bodied..
(Phlash, Tue 6 Nov 2007, 13:00, closed)

Well said, that man.
Yes, Lexyia, you are THAT popular.
*not*
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Tue 6 Nov 2007, 22:59, closed)