Amblin Entertainment
Myself and the owner of a local bike shop were riding our mountain bikes around Holmbury Hill one lovely late summer afternoon. I was doing a reasonable job of hanging on to his heels and all was going quite well as we both had a game of "who can stay off the brakes the longest" on a short fire road descent.

My riding partner saw a trail heading off into the woods up ahead and turned toward it. Thinking I'd gain an advantage, I stood on the pedals and braced for what I thought was a sharp climb, hoping I'd reach the top before him. However I'd badly misjudged it.

"Watch out for the drop!" yelled my biking buddy.

I had barely a second to register that the short climb was in fact a massive ramp, probably built by some fearless local kids. With all my weight over the handlebars I didn't stand a fucking chance of making it. My friend managed to land the jump, but looked on the absolute ragged edge.

I recall feeling the suspension bottom out suddenly and then looking up to see my bike mid air and beyond that the ground as I started to tumble.

Ground.

Sky.

Ground.

Tree.

Fuck.

I had just enough time to contemplate how much hitting the deck would hurt and that it would probably result in a broken wrist at the very least. I realised how much more it's going to hurt when 30lb of pointy bike landed on top of me. I saw the tree hurtling towards me and closed my eyes.

Luckily, I missed the tree by inches. Despite landing on my head and shoulder, I had enough momentum to keep rolling which took the energy away from the crash. My bike missed me by several feet somehow.

I stood up woozily, with my £100 Specialized Decibel helmet in three pieces atop my head and noted that my ribs hurt, but not sufficiently to stop me riding. We walked the distance between the edge of the jump and the divot my head made when I hit the gound, which came to roughly twenty odd feet. My bike had survived too. So not knowing what else to do we carried on.

The damage was confined to my ruined Decibel helmet, which is still on display in a glass case at the shop, plus a black eye, bruised ribs and minor concussion. I wouldn't like to comment on the condition of my shorts that day, but I've never been so sure that I was about to seriously injure myself as I did then.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 5 Apr 2012, 17:26, Reply)