TWOCing
Many years ago I was involved in the salvage of a trawler that the driver had carelessly sunk.

The first bit wasn't too difficult. We hired some lifting bags and managed to get the thing near the surface without killing or injuring anyone. The hard bit was getting the fucking thing just clear of the water so we could start pumping her out. That's right I said pumping her out.

The head of our motley crew came up with a plan, we'd borrow a bulldozer from a nearby site, do the job and get it back before anyone noticed. Two guys went to liberate the caterpillar truck while the rest of use towed the stricken vessel to shore. Unsurprisingly, the fact we were a mixture of amateurs and fuckwits came into play, and we managed to drop the trawler back to the bottom of the Minch before we'd reached half way.

We now had a dilemma. Do we risk putting the Bulldozer back and try stealing it again or do we hide it and hope nobody notices...we hid it and crossed our fingers. It then took us three more days to sort out the boat by which time the nicked vehicle had been reported stolen.

The local police spent about 4 seconds working out who probably had it, they soon visited to make enquiries. After a couple of whiskeys it became clear that as long as they didn't actually see us with the thing and there was no damage it would probably all be forgotten.

Come the day to drag the vessel ashore there was quite a crowd gathered to watch, including 2 policemen, who stood by while we drove a very stolen bright yellow bulldozer down the slipway, attached the lines and completed our job.

Later that night we triumphantly rode the monster to it's rightful resting place and staggered back to the pub to complete our celebrations.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 14 Nov 2013, 12:55, Reply)