The patron saint of crackheads
My friend Clint is generous to a fault. He can't say no to any homeless person that asks for money. I'm all for charity, but Clint has a kid and makes about 500$ a month on disability. No mater how drunk the bum already is, Clint is more than happy to hand out a fiver.

One time we were pulling up to a 7-11 to buy more beer. 7-11 is the official begging place for the homeless on the west coast of the states. Probably due to the wide selection of single serve malt liquors and fortified wines.

There is a toothless big fat black guy clinging tenaciously to a trashcan. He is so shitfaced that in his mind he believes that if he were to let go he would fall off the earth into space.

As we pass him on the way in he attempts to communicate with us. I think he was asking for money by the way his palm was outstretched and the way he was grunting.

"Not today, but god bless!" I said.

Clint said, "I'll get you on the way out."

We bought our beer and cigarettes and Clint got 50$ cash back.

"If you give that 50$ to that drunk bum out there you are walking home." I threatened.

I knew it was no use. As I got in the car, Clint placed the fifty dollar bill in the hobo's hand. It took the bum a good 30 seconds to realize he was holding something. He puts the brings the money up to his eyes to focus on it. When he realizes what it is his eyes get HUGE and his mouth opens wide. He loses his grip on the trashcan and cracks his head open on the pavement. He's out cold, blood starts to pool under the bum's head, and the fifty bucks starts blowing away. Clint grabs it and puts it in the homeless man's front jacket pocket.

My friend Clint is truly the patron saint of crackheads
(anotherlogan and the whit he shites, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:38, Reply)