Motorway Madness
The other night I was driving back home on the M4 after visiting a purveyor of medicinal herbs. Doing 90mph quite comfortably in the fast lane when I happened to just glance in my rearview mirror. SHIT ON TOAST! There's a fucking Beamer right up my arse, WITH NO FUCKING LIGHTS ON!
Now, the part of the motorway I was on isn't lit at night so I can only assume it was fucking Riddick in the driver seat. Anyway, I pulled over to the middle lane only to witness that trademark of BMW drivers everywhere, the 'I'm-going-exceedingly-faster-than-yew' woosh as the prick zoomed off into the night.

Twat.
(Erasmusmicroman is inside your T.V., Wed 18 Apr 2012, 16:24, 9 replies)

'purveyor of medicinal herbs'
Twat.

doing 90mph and then complaining about someone else speeding?

Twat.

I'll give you the no lights thing though.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 16:34, closed)

I'll also add
"sitting in the outside lane regardless of how fast you're going"

Twat.

It's not a fast lane. Or a middle lane. They are two overtaking lanes. Consequently, whilst driving, ask yourself "am I actually overtaking anyone? if not then I am effectively on the wrong side of the road"
Anyone failing to understand this incredibly simple piece of information should not be allowed cutlery, let alone two tons of metal powered by an internal combusion engine
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 16:48, closed)

Ooh, I'm annoyed I missed that one.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 16:57, closed)

Ooh, I'm annoyed I missed that onegate

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 22:50, closed)

^THIS^
In capitals
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 17:42, closed)

Surely it is a middle lane

(RTFM May your god go with you, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 20:56, closed)

geometrically, yeah, you've got me
but you know what I mean. There is a lane to drive in, and then there are two overtaking lanes. Calling it middle implies it's a sensible place to stay regardless.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 9:50, closed)

Paraphrasing Harry Enfield.
Twat.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 18 Apr 2012, 16:58, closed)

TWAT TWAT ringofyre - 2012 (Stolen from The Playmates - 1958)
(very slowly)
twat twat twat twat
His knob went spunk spunk spunk
While riding in my Honda Accord
What to my surprise
A little Beamer was following me
About one third more than my size
The guy musta wanted to groom me up
As he kept on fondling his magenta cock
I'll show him that a Honda Accord is not a car to scorn
twat twat twat twat
His knob went spunk spunk spunk

(slowly)
I pushed my foot down to the floor
To give the guy the wank
But the little Beamer stayed right behind
He still had on his brake
He musta thought his car had more guts
As he kept on fondling his magenta cock (twat twat)
I'll show him that a Honda Accord is not a car to scorn
twat twat twat twat
His knob went spunk spunk spunk

(normal speed)
My car went into passing gear
And we pushed over a cyclist with gust (whoosh)
Soon we were going ninety
Musta left him in the dust
When I peeked in the mirror of my car
I couldn't believe my eyes
The little Beamer was right behind
You'd think that guy could fly
twat twat twat twat
His knob went spunk spunk spunk

(quickly)
Now we were doing a hundred and ten
This certainly was a race
For a Beamer to pass a Honda Accord
Would be a big disgrace
The guy musta wanted to pass me up
As he kept on fondling his magenta cock (twat twat)
I'll show him that a Honda Accord is not a car to scorn
twat twat twat twat
His knob went spunk spunk spunk

(very quickly)
Now we're going a hundred twenty
As fast as I can go
The Beamer pulled along side of me
As if we were going slow
The fella rolled down his window
And yelled for me to hear
"Hey wanker, got any MASSIVE DRUGS for me and the supermodel 'ere?"
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 0:37, closed)