Electric Blue Peter…

I’ll crimp this one out quickly…

A fair few years ago, Jenny, my sister in law was partaking in a girl’s weekend which consisted of a swarm of tarted up women heavy drinking, shopping, going to a show, and staying at a big 'la-de-da' hotel in London.

Having fun was the order of the day. Giggling too much, talking about clothes, slagging men off , whilst quaffing copious amounts of overpriced cocktails. Standard fayre for this kind of thing as I understand it. They were enjoying themselves immensely

At the time of the incident in question, they hadn’t even gone out for the evening yet, and were meeting in the hotel bar for beverages prior to going out on the main lash.

As the gaggle of girls began to group, Jenny remembered that she had left something in her room, and wisely decided to nip up and get it.

She stepped into the lift and pressed her floor button. As she waited for the doors to close, who should jump into the lift but housewives’ favourite rapist, shag-tape connoisseur, and Matthew Wright’s biggest fan…John Leslie! (This was quite a bit before all the scandal broke out about him by the way).

Anyhoo, Jenny recognised him, gave him a quick friendly smile, and then turned away to look at the screen above the lift door as the numbers started to go up.

As soon as the lift started moving, Mr Leslie tapped Jenny on the shoulder. She turned her neck to see what he wanted. With a smarmy smirk and his eyebrows waggling he just blurted out: “Would you like to come up to my room?”

No Introduction, no nicities, not even a ‘Hi’…just straight in, with the invitation for her to get her laughing gear round his lumpy haggis.

Jenny was quite taken aback, and decided that she wasn’t having any of this, but despite her moderate squiffyness, she decided to act with a bit of decorum.

“Erm, no thank you...” She replied firmly.

Old Johnny boy was obviously a bit miffed, but to be fair, he didn’t push it any further. However, he did step quite awkwardly close to her and follow up with a patronising: “Harrumphfff!, well I suppoooose you’ll be wanting an autograph though eh?”

With this, something inside Jenny snapped. In fact, it snapped with such vigour that any witnesses might have thought that one of the cables in the lift had gone.

With a face like thunder, Jenny turned, pointed her freshly manicured finger at him and snarled. “I’ll tell you what I want, I want you to FUCK. *prods him in the chest* RIGHT *prods harder* OFF!” .

Leslie backed away into the corner of the small lift and Jenny grolwed once more at him for luck before turning her back on him again. A few moments pass and the lift rolls on. This is now quite awkward. She once again checks the display screen, ‘Bollocks’, she thinks, as she realises she’s got about 10 floors to go, and she’s going to potentially be stuck in the lift with this world champion twat for quite a while.

Eventually, she gets to her floor and gratefully steps out of the lift. However, with painful predictability, Mr Leslie does too…This is now becoming somewhat creepy…she walks down the corridor, he continues to follow silently. She turns a corner, he’s still just a few feet away – it’s unbearable, and poor Jenny can’t take it anymore.

She spins round on her heels, glares at him and bellows: “WILL YOU JUST FUCK OFF? What’s your prob…..oh” as she watches him sheepishly pop his card into the door and enter what is obviously his room...about 3 doors down from hers.

Still...lucky escape for her I reckon.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Thu 19 Apr 2012, 11:32, 1 reply)

got any nude pics of your sister?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 19 Apr 2012, 12:27, closed)