Ghost
Way back in the mists of time, I spent some time in the Army, and basic training consisted of going out into the field at one point, and shoot other people for the hell of it (with blanks, of course).
Second night out, off we go on patrol, and are wandering around, radio squawks, we are going to ambush the Coldstream Guards (who are also training in the area). This means we can get swift dirty kicks in, the odd punch, and set off traps which will fuck up their night vision. So, trip wires in place, get snuggly down amonst the leaves, and thumbs up to glen on the other side of the path- "Ready to prod some buttock", as we used to say. After about 10 minutes, the squad hears footsteps rustling through the woods, its fairly clear, I can see my oppos face clearly. Closer they came. I hear the soft clicks of the safety catches being clicked off, ready to make a guardsman shit himself. Closer they come. On his own? We can only hear one set of footsteps. Glen looks quizzical, as do I. And then the footsteps went right down the path between us, walking straight through- And not a thing was there. Just the sound of a heavy pair of feet. No trip wires went off, and all the time I was looking at Glen, who had eyes like saucers. And then- they stopped.
Can you guess what we did, the flower of the nations youth, fearless, ready to face any adversary? Thats right- we fucked off pronto, the opposite way from where they stopped. And then 5 minutes later we saw and heard a mighty commotion, as the guardsmen did walk into the ambush in the end, and flares were going off, thunderflashes, and shots everywhere, so we didn't have to explain why we chickened out.
Length? Damn it, it touched cloth!
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Sun 6 Jul 2008, 21:45, Reply)