I had a bit of a smelly anti-social housemate when a student.
Who generally annoyed the rest of the clean, hygenic members of the household by various antics, including stinking the joint up something rotten by leaving rotting old pans of food in his bedroom - and then sodding off for a week whilst the smell got generally worse. Stealing food, never doing any housework, or seemingly washing his mouth or cock*, and generally being a tight bastard even though he was by far the best off financially - we bought him drinks whilst we sank deeper into our overdrafts and he stayed quiet about his fortune until the end of the 3rd year, the tight fucker.

After a year of living together, and general levels of frustration rising - after a good few beers/wines/ciders and a nice evening in, without the pleasure of his company we somehow ended up spray painting his locked bedroom door (That was just about holding back the stench) using some - apparently - non-permanent hair colour spray with the legend:

'Cock Piss Partridge**'

In an obvious Alan Partridge reference, we were students after all.

And this remained for the 7 days he was away. When we attempted to wipe it off for his return (as much as he annoyed us, we didn't think he'd probably approve the decor, so for the best), it was clear that a white wooden door is more pourous than hair.

We wiped away frantically and did our level best, but there was always a feint marking spelling out the words if you caught it in the right light, for the rest of our time in that house.

*His girlfriend made him shower pre-sex when she visited.

**But with the stinkers surname, obviously..

Sometimes I wonder if we were a bit harsh branding him as a 'cock piss', but then I remember what a genuine fucker he was.
(Pat_Gash, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 15:24, 1 reply)

As a kid, we tested that non-permanent hairspray on a painted white wall outside a pub
The blue spot is still there, probably 16 years later

It'll come off hair, but on everything else it seems to be permanent
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 7 Oct 2010, 16:16, closed)