Classy
I was 18 when I lost my v-plates to a girl called jodie.
She was a freind of a mate of mine and we always seemed to bump into each other when i was on nights out. Anyway, on one particular night we both ended up in the same nightclub ('Toad' to be exact, it was shit) here in 'Keynes. We were both pretty drunk and on the dancefloor when she asked if i fancied goin outside for a chat.
Not really reading the signs, i went along with it and joined her outside the bar. As soon as we got outside she started kissing me and after about five minutes of touchy feely stuff in the carpark, she grabbed my hand and we started walking accross to the big Sainsbury's opposite.
what happened next i'll remember for the rest of eternity; she pearched herself on one of the trolley racks, pulled me close and just whispered 'So you gonna fuck me or what?'
needless to say i didn't need asking twice; Skirt went up, trousers half mast and the rest... well i'll leave that to your imagination.
The next day, my freinds asked me where i dissapeared to during the evening; when i told them they thought i was joking... But i was left with an everlasting souvenier which i then showed and still have to this day....

Massive fucking claw marks in my back.
(Colostomy Bag Explosion Lubing the gears of commercialism, Wed 9 Mar 2005, 21:36, Reply)