Military College + Nurse + Finger = Mayhem
South Carolina, an all-male military college. We constantly cruised the neighboring co-ed schools College of Charleston and the Medical University of South Carolina...one night I pulled in a big way.

She was a nursing student, absolutely beautiful and oozing the Southern Charm you think only exists in movies. I met her and KNEW I was in love. So, fast-forward to our first date...pizza and some beers at a Chinese Take-Away called "the Magic Wok" where you could get served if you were 8, as long as you were wearing a Citadel uniform.

We go back to her apartment and get nikked. As I am removing my trousers, I remember a caution from a mate at school: "with a nurse you have to watch out for errant fingers." He said it just like that. Matter of fact.

Well, I hit my stride...I am hammering away, assisted by a certain lack of sensitivity brought on by alcohol and I feel the most hideous thing I have ever felt in my life. While I was happily hammering away, School fight song (Dixie) in my head, visions of a special parade, just for me..she had slipped a finger into the old bunger.

I was so geeked out I politely removed myself from atop the beautiful young thing and got dressed, WALKING back to campus. I was ashamed. My rear had been penetrated. I felt like a circus freak. Until my buddies admonition came back to me...so I told him and he laughed so hard I thought he was going to piss himself.

Next Day: Standing at formation, orders being read over a loud speaker to roughly 2,000 other cadets. "Corporal ----- is advised that taking a finger in your ass does not make you gay." Cue hilarious laughter amongst 2,000 fellow cadets and my face, as red as the Soviet flag.

I still havent talked to that 'buddy' since.

Barstard.

Sic Semper Tyrannis, I make no apologies for length.

Sean
( Citadel Because the world needs less morons, Thu 10 Mar 2005, 21:35, closed)