18th Birthday Games
I remember vividly my 18th Birthday.
I was at college at the time in Sunderland, with all my Mackem indie-mates (some of whom have gone on to musically great things), and I was looking forward to be able to stroll over to the bar, and act all indignant if ever asked for ID, instead of sheepish mumblings that I left it at home. I eventually invited around 15 guys and gals to the pub with me after tea. We intended to start off in the local Wetherspoons then move on to Manor Quay (a top student club btw...). This plan, however, was abandoned when the effect of having everybody out with me insisting on buying me a drink. I had a veritable cornucopia of drinks, covering almost the entire table before me. Plus the fact that my drinking nut friend (we all have them, a mate who's heroic drinking takes them to local legend status...) had challenged me that afternoon to match him drink-for-drink.

By around 10 pm I was in my woozy dribbly stage, and could feel the need to vom rising in my gut. Intending to do as I would normally do, make myself chug in the cubicle, getting it over with discreetly in the pan, I callously invited my male friends to spectate as I hurled in the bathroom. So, followed by 5 mates, I got halfway to the gents when I could take it no longer, and promptly vomited on a lady's shoes. I only registered the yells of "you dirty cunt!" whilst I staggered to the gens to complete my mission.

I made it to the gents in time to barge into the nearest cubicle and sink to my knees barfing copiously into the bog. After the spectacle, I made to get up, but found that my legs had mutinied, and wouldn't respond! So I had to ask said friends to haul me up, and to the sinks to clean up.

Me and a friend left immediately, catching a bus home, on which I barfed again on the back seat.

He had to support me off the bus, to my door, and turn my key for me - as I could barelty function at this point.

When indoors I barfed again a couple of times, the fell into a coma, awakening with a bastard hangover, which I assuaged with hot showers and lots of Mogwai.

It remains a talking point to this day whenever me and my makem mates are reunited.
( Quiver Search for FATALISTS on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, &c, Thu 19 Aug 2004, 21:32, Reply)