My Wanking DisastersEver been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
(
rob, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
« Go Back
Come baby come baby, baby come comeI remember this like it was yesterday (even though it was about 12 years ago). I was bashing away in my living room to the video to Come Baby Come by K7, with my parents in the next shitting room, fer chrissakes (this must have been during my 'horny as a dog' phase). My mum walked in, I covered my shame with a nearby cushion and hoped that she didn't notice. But she did.
Only she didn't think I was wanking. If she did, the story wouldn't have been half as bad. No, she thought I had taken a biscuit from the kitchen, and thought she'd engage me in a bit of jovial tug of war with the cushion covering my rapidly shrinking penis. This went on for about 30 seconds, her laughing as she tried to shed light on my supposed theft, me terrified I'd flash my mum and she'd find out I was flogging the horse to a music video.
Eventually, she noticed the sweat dripping down my forehead and my teenage grip won out against her maternal tugging. I turned away, cock still hanging out, and ran down the corridor, laughing maniacally. To this day, I don't know whether she figured it out or not.
(, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:56, Reply)
« Go Back