My Wanking Disasters
Ever been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
( , Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
Ever been caught by your mum? Or tried to fuck a pillow and got the spongey bits stuck to your bell-end creating a strange new flower? What about the time you man-milked the keyboard causing your PC to short-circuit and knocking out the mains for the whole street? Maybe you're a lady and you were using your mobile phone as a vibrator and accidentally dialed your mother? Tell us your stories and we'll tell the world.
( , Tue 1 Jun 2004, 17:23)
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speaking of "snapping the banjo" (see below)...
Many years ago, my frenulum got caught in between a girlfriend's lower front-teeth. I actually felt the snap, and the sensation of my foreskin suddenly becoming somewhat more retractable than I'd previously known it to be, before the sudden rush of lustlessness and a squeamishly light-headed cradling of my bloodied, wounded cock.
The following morning, during a hastily-booked medical centre appointment to reassure myself that no serious damage had been caused, the doctor evidently didn't understand the meaning of the phrase "blow job" (despite this being a University) and suggested that next time I might like to use some lubricant "if the lady wasn't entirely ready". Faced with this startling nugget of advice, I really didn't know quite how to put him straight, choosing instead to quietly sympathise with the guy's evidently foreplay-impoverished wife.
( , Wed 2 Jun 2004, 17:14, Reply)
Many years ago, my frenulum got caught in between a girlfriend's lower front-teeth. I actually felt the snap, and the sensation of my foreskin suddenly becoming somewhat more retractable than I'd previously known it to be, before the sudden rush of lustlessness and a squeamishly light-headed cradling of my bloodied, wounded cock.
The following morning, during a hastily-booked medical centre appointment to reassure myself that no serious damage had been caused, the doctor evidently didn't understand the meaning of the phrase "blow job" (despite this being a University) and suggested that next time I might like to use some lubricant "if the lady wasn't entirely ready". Faced with this startling nugget of advice, I really didn't know quite how to put him straight, choosing instead to quietly sympathise with the guy's evidently foreplay-impoverished wife.
( , Wed 2 Jun 2004, 17:14, Reply)
« Go Back