Sweet, sweet liquor, eases the pain...
In the 6 and a bit years I've worked in the drinks industry I've devised/encountered some fantastic ways of simultaneously wasting time, and getting wasted on company time.

Here, for the purpose of wasting some more time, are a few examples:

The Tasting: Company expanding rapidly? High turnover of staff? New products added to your portfolio? Why not commandeer a room, set up a laptop with lots of 'fascinating' pictures of crumbly old distilleries, warehouses filled with oak barrels and beautifully shot photos of expensive bottles of booze? Why not then invite small groups of co-workers to taste your products, under the guise of educating about what makes them so damn special? Invite each group to spend just half an hour with you, while you wile away the entire day becoming increasingly inebriated and being paid for the pleasure.

The Perfect Serve: This one can't be repeated too often, as a new product launch, or a "re-appraisal of brand strategy" is required, but it's a fantastic way to waste a whole day, and get fantastically drunk at the same time. For this you'll need: A well stocked bar (being in the drinks industry, a colleague will be able to call in a favour for you); numerous bottles of whichever drink you're going to be making cocktails with (of course, you have cases of it under your desk already); a 'mixologist' (you'll find a colleague who's held this dubious title at some point in their career, and will be more than willing to show off their fantastic flare skills); and a willing group of tasters to accompany you on this all important venture (this is always going to be easy; you work for a drinks company ffs). You then spend the entire day making a weird and wonderful selection of cocktails, initially taking comprehensive notes on your thoughts and findings, before eventually just drinking yourself into a stupor. You won't remember which were the best. You won't really remember what you did all day, but you'll have had great fun and you'll have been paid for it too, and that's all that really counts.

Brand Education Initiatives: Friday afternoons can drag, can't they? Well they needn't, not if you decide to launch a series of deeply ineffective, badly publicised and ultimately pointless initiatives designed to give you and your team an excuse to sit around drinking for a few hours. Of course, you're doing it under the pretence of opening up the brands to the wider company. You've almost made a big deal of the whole thing. You've gone so far as to sort of ask others to join you. Christ, you very nearly sent an email to the whole company about it. Ok, so all you've really done is open some bottles of wine then sit around and discuss your plans for the weekend the latest dance craze the footy results the finer points of the wines in question. But you're being paid for the pleasure, and as we've established already, that's what really counts.

There are other, more elaborate ways to waste time here, I'm sure. Indeed, I'm sure I've indulged in as many of them as possible, but for some reason my memory of the past 6 and a bit years is slightly hazy, and there are big chunks of it missing, particularly where work is concerned.
( Moey, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 15:32, 1 reply)

Ooh you jammy git.
The only perq at my job would probably be a discount paternity test.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 8 Jan 2009, 17:54, closed)