in my old job working on a huge estate
there was 'technically' no free time.You got in at 8,you took the quad bikes out in the rain and sleet to the edge of god-know's where,and you started breaking up firewood and hauling it back,or rebuilding a moat,dam or whatever the fuck it was,or you hunted deer off the boundaries as they ate the trees in the plantations.
Oh,you got stuck out seven miles from home with an empty quadbike tank?Walk seven miles back,grab a petrol can,walk back to the quad,fuel it up,drive back.
You got stuck with your hand under a huge rock?Shame.Wait 'til it goes black,saw it off,and walk back,and then we'll phone an ambulance.Don't drive the quadbike one-handed along the edge of crevasses or lakes.you will die.
Into this nightmare job strode I,intent on doing nothing and damned if I wasn't going to be paid for it. The plan was obvious.
Take a pack of silk cut,a good book and an umbrella,tell your boss you're 'going to check the fencing at ardna-whateverthefucktheplacewas-murchi',belt off along dangerous,potholed roads at thirty (and let me tell you,thirty on a quad is fucking fast.You come off at thirty,and you will die.) to the far edge of the estate,set up the umbrella as a tent,light a smoke and open your book.Come back in seven hours,damp and forlorn-looking,claiming you chased a deer or some shit.Go home having been paid to sit in the rain and read.
Best job I ever had.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Tue 13 Jan 2009, 13:03, 3 replies)

That
Sounds awesome.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 13:33, closed)

I'm from scotland
but I'm in dubai

i think i might cry a wee bit then sleep

ps 'lochs' please - there are no lakes in escocia
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 19:39, closed)

i'm english.
we call them lakes because that's what they are called.
(Fuckpig "That's not even a pound a midget.", Wed 14 Jan 2009, 22:39, closed)